Hey everyone, I’m writing as something’s happened that I really want to share with you guys. So, I’ll take you back to the beginning of the school year…
I was put in a class, 2nd to Top set. Actually “parallel to top set” (But just different science GCSEs, if that makes ANY sense to anyone out there.) And I HATED it at first because I’ve ALWAYS been the top set kind of girl. Yes, you could argue it was “technically” Top set, but it wasn’t good enough (For me) When we went back to school in September, yes I had friends, a lot of them, and people I could talk to and laugh with. But it was different, you know? It didn’t feel right.
Something in the back of my mind was thinking about the laughs I could have had in this “higher” set.
Then, over the next couple of months, I grew to like my own set and finally declared ‘It didn’t suck’. I still had… Football, I’ll call him, We’ve always been in the same classes and groups for everything since Year 7, (Sorry American readers, I don’t know the equivalent. 4/5th grade maybe? The grade you’re in when your 11, basically.) Football is basically my Twin brother (Just to clarify, we’re NOT related at all, he just looks and acts like me so…) My friends were there too, and I’m really lucky I had them as I would have had a MELTDOWN if I didn’t, honestly. The point is I did well in that class, REALLY well, it seems.
Today, I got called out of tutor and told, after Easter, I’d be in the higher set. Of course, in the heat of the moment, it was AMAZING, so incredible I was BUZZING as I went to tell everyone I’d be in the higher set. Then it dawned on me.
I’d be in a higher set. I’d be LEAVING.
Ok, that makes it sound VERY over-dramatic, but I wouldn’t be with those friends, I wouldn’t be with that class I’d grown to like, and worst of all… I’d be breaking the fact I’d always be with My twin.
I had literally just found my place in that class. I had JUST gotten accepted. I had just accepted within myself I wasn’t with the same people anymore. I was genuinely HAPPY!
And now, my wish of being in a higher set was coming true, in the worst way possible.
Yes, It’s everything I wanted since I found out about the classes this year, yes I’d be with my friends, just not the same ones, but I’d still have friends.
It’s just everything I’m leaving behind.
I know it’s “Not the end of the world” But honestly, it’s heartbreaking as I’ll never see those friends in classes anymore. We don’t take the same GCSEs, so the only window is our break times, and that change is so… just ANNOYING! If I’m being fully honest.
It’s like breaking up with someone. (Just not as bad, but the emotion is kind of the same) Going from knowing someone that well, and then one day it just all ends… That’s kind of what I’m going through right now, with my class situation. But I suppose breaking up with someone eventually leads to you finding the right person, which is also true with my class situation.
It leads to me having 1 extra GCSE in science and higher standards. And if you know me, you’ll know I love a challenge.
So I’m going to take this in my stride and hope for the best. The memories I made in set 2 aren’t going to suddenly become less important, and I have some really great ones with that class.
Like today, it’s bittersweet. but I got an easter egg for getting 2nd highest in the year for an Essay (Hey, didn’t I say on an old blogpost 2/3 years ago I’d beat a certain boy on my essay? Well, I DID! haha!) And I shared it with my set.
I don’t like chocolate that much. Of course, I eat it, but sharing it just made it so much better.
Anyway, I’m going to hope for the best, after Easter, and See what happens. I found my place in set 2, I can do it again in set 1. And no matter what happens, I made some of the best memories with set 2, so I’ll always have that, Won’t I?
Change sucks. Period. It happens at the worst times, and in places that hurt us the most, like friendships, (classes…) But I hope you take at least one thing away from this blog post.
Change ISN’T the end.
It isn’t, I’m not leaving my school, I’m not leaving anywhere. And I’m grateful for it.
I managed to find something positive in MY situation, and hope you can if you’re going through somthing similar too!
Stay strong, my lovely readers, I know you have it in you, because if I, the biggest clutz and awkward disaster alive, can do it. I have no doubt in my mind you’ll get through it too!
Till then 🙂